Follow the Protocol.
Quarter teaspoon, bare. Timer starts when the clean spoon leaves your mouth. Stay with it. Call it in good will when the burn's subsided enough you'd have to go looking for it. Echoes don't count. Read the Protocol →
The Damn Fool Ladder
The leaderboard runs on honor. So do you.
Time your burn — or your bravest friend's — and report the minutes in good will. Climb from Damn Fool to Adventurous, Complete, and one day Enlightened Damn Fool. Every rung is earned, never bought.
How the ladder works
Three steps. One honor system.
Submit your minutes.
Which sauce, how many minutes, whose name goes on the board. Optional video link if you filmed it — not required, just receipts if you want to share the moment.
Climb.
Ranks are earned as you go. Damn Fool, then Adventurous, then Complete, then one day Enlightened. Milestones and rewards are a recognition program — unbuyable merch, community standing — not a sweepstakes.
The rungs
Damn Fool · Adventurous · Complete · Enlightened.
The rank ladder, always in this order. Codes appear as tier + your reported ceiling — so a fourteen-minute submission on Fire Dragon comes back as EDF14.
DF · 1–7 min
Damn Fool. You started.
ADF · 8–10 min
Adventurous. You surprised yourself.
CDF · 11–13 min
Complete. You have a strategy.
EDF · 14+ min
Enlightened. Open-ended.
Specific milestone requirements (CDF gauntlet, EDF-class survival, others) are being finalized. Until they're published, ranks are recognized informally — the point is being on the board with your bravest friends, not chasing a prize.
Submit your minutes
Which sauce, how many minutes, whose name goes on the board.
The leaderboard runs on honor. Report what happened, not what you wish had happened. Echoes don't count — you're timing the fire, not the smoke.
Optional video link is just receipts if you want them. Not required, never verified, never held against a submission.
Current standings
Nobody's climbed yet.
The leaderboard is warming up. First name on the board might as well be yours — time a burn from your Dare mini or from a bottle at the tent, and report the minutes.
Empty by design, for now
Submissions land here once the ladder's live. When the first name goes up, this section will show the top ranks by tier — DF through EDF — with sauce, minutes, and (if provided) a link to the receipts.
The honor system, stated plainly
Community times are community data. Not promises about your minutes.
Every number reported here is one person's timed experience under the Protocol, called in good will. It doesn't tell you what your burn will be. It doesn't tell you what any sauce is guaranteed to do. And it isn't a claim about safety, tolerance, or anyone's body but the person who submitted it.
The Damn Fool Ladder is a recognition program — not a sweepstakes, not a contest of chance, not an offer of prizes with defined odds. Specific ranks may come with unbuyable merch or community recognition. Terms are being finalized and will be published before anything of real value gets attached.
If It's Not Real Food Then What Is It?™